Paprykarz szczeciński — Polish mackerel and rice spread

We woke up in Poland in 2021. A better Poland, because it has a vaccine. A better Poland, because it already has a great national argument. It occurs to me that there is no longer, and never will be again, a Poland without great national arguments. Which is why I decided to make paprykarz szczeciński my first recipe of the year. A Polish national dish, once a delicacy and now, in certain circles, a cult classic. A dish made from scraps: what, as I once read, was left of the fish caught on huge factory ships sailing somewhere off West Africa. Some learned food technologist combined African cooking with fish scraps, and canned paprykarz szczeciński was born. Probably the only tin of fish with a monument of its own.

I mention this because, despite its African roots, it reminds me remarkably strongly of our Polish national mess. Why paprykarz, of all things? I don’t know. Actually, I do. Just look at it. Completely unappetising. Utter chaos in a jar or a tin. It looks inedible, yet it’s tolerable, even tasty when you’re in the mood for fish. Unappetising but edible. Rather like what’s going on in Poland at the moment: completely unacceptable to me, and yet something we have to live through.

So we have vaccines. Or rather, apparently we don’t. We have vaccination centres, but we don’t know who can get vaccinated, or when they will be able to. We have a vaccination programme, but no system to deliver it. We have a president whom everyone expects to get vaccinated in public, but nobody knows under what arrangements. We have famous people who have been vaccinated, and no reflection on why they managed it. Above all, we have 42% of citizens saying they don’t want to be vaccinated. Then we have vaccines that can sit at a vaccination centre for 3 days, after which they have to be thrown away. And we still manage to argue about all of it, unleash a torrent of hate and turn it into a national brawl.

We’re not interested in the fact that someone had a very long time to prepare us for vaccination. We’re not interested in the fact that everyone should already be able to find out when it’s their turn, where they can be vaccinated, and even whether there are doses lying somewhere about to expire because nobody has booked them. We’re not interested in the fact that someone should have done this earlier. We’re not amused when those who were supposed to prepare it now come out and express outrage that it wasn’t prepared. We’re not interested in the fact that we always react too late, exactly as with this paprykarz. Paprykarz came about because nobody had previously thought about what to do with the leftovers from processed fish. The problem only appeared once the scraps were there. I have the impression we’re a country that rushes headlong into things, and one where nobody in government wants to take responsibility for anything.

Now for something specific. A dozen or so well-known people recently got vaccinated against COVID-19 at a Warsaw clinic and rather unwisely told everyone about it. Think about it: had they kept quiet, everything would have been fine. Nobody would have known, and there would have been no scandal. Why did they tell people? Not because they wanted to give the entire nation a magnificent middle finger, but to encourage vaccination. Remember? 42% don’t want it, and herd immunity requires 60–70% of society to be vaccinated. A wave of hatred descended on them because they got their jabs during the period reserved for group zero: people working in healthcare. Ministers devoted a press conference to the matter, demanding explanations. Interestingly, the very same ministers had allowed vaccines to be used “more freely” under rules intended to prevent waste, so that doses wouldn’t end up scattered through the bins. A reminder: 3 days, then into the bin. But when someone asked about that, they said somebody had misinterpreted it. Seriously? Instead of brushing the whole thing aside — they hadn’t done anything against the law, and the point is to vaccinate as many people as possible — the vaccination centre began explaining itself in such a convoluted way that it sounded like an admission of guilt. In its explanations, the Medical University of Warsaw says the campaign was intended to promote vaccination. Wait. Promote what? Which vaccinations, when there aren’t any vaccines? Well, there are, but not many, and they have a short shelf life at the vaccination centre. Anything here not making sense?

You can’t promote something that isn’t available. Mind you, “available” and “unavailable” seem to be rather flexible terms. Do you remember the prime minister coming out for his daily press conference — thankfully not hourly — and announcing that he’d secured a cargo of vaccines? 😂😂😂 Then somebody asked why Israel could vaccinate up to 100,000 people a day. Naturally, there was an answer to that too: Israel isn’t in the EU, and it was the EU that set vaccine quotas for member states. Still confused? The prime minister secured them, except he didn’t really. Essentially, though, it’s convenient that the vaccine isn’t there, because then there’s a wicked EU rationing it, and we can blame the EU for how poorly prepared we are for those vaccines we don’t have. But if we were an Israel…

Perhaps we should seriously ask why the vaccine is unavailable. Why isn’t there a prepared vaccination programme and a central register to go with it? Unfortunately, the answer is ridiculously simple: as so often in Poland, we’d rather bash one another over the head than properly prepare for something we knew was coming. We’d rather find easy excuses for hatred than answer difficult questions. We’d rather throw things away than turn them into paprykarz szczeciński. It’s exhausting. Still, as a firm supporter of vaccination, I don’t so much have hope as need to find some: that another Wojciech Jakacki — the head of production at Gryf, where paprykarz szczeciński was invented — will finally turn up and get to work, so we can reach herd immunity as quickly as possible and get rid of this whole COVID-19 business. Above all, the uncertainty it brings to every part of our lives. That’s what I wish you in 2021. And good food, of course.

I recommend this paprykarz recipe from the heart. It’s my own variation, probably not perfect and not a 100% match for the ideal, but genuinely well worth making.

At a glance:

Preparation time: 30 minutes

Serves: several people

Calories: actually, I know, but I’m not telling — perhaps that’s what the next post will be about: calories 🙂

Ingredients for homemade paprykarz szczeciński:

• a medium smoked mackerel
• 3 small sweet red peppers
• 1 medium carrot
• 1 shallot
• 1 medium red onion
• half a tube of tomato purée (I use Mutti; the best, in my opinion)
• half a sachet of wholegrain brown rice (the sort that takes 30 minutes to cook)
• salt
• freshly ground black pepper
• sweet smoked paprika
• olive oil
• hot piri-piri chilli powder

How to make very healthy, decidedly uncanned paprykarz szczeciński:

You might think this iconic paprykarz szczeciński would be rather difficult to make. Fortunately, it isn’t, and you’ll manage perfectly well. First I picked the flesh from the mackerel. That’s really the hardest part, because I dislike picking smoked mackerel apart on account of the considerable number of bones. The large number of bones. The enormous number of tiny bones. I put the picked mackerel flesh into a bowl.

I poured half a tablespoon of olive oil into a saucepan and fried the finely chopped onion and shallot, the very finely grated carrot — I did mine in a blender — and the finely chopped peppers. After 5–7 minutes, I added the tomato purée and seasoning to taste: black pepper, salt, sweet smoked paprika and piri-piri.

I had cooked the rice beforehand. It takes 30 minutes, so you need to start it right at the beginning if the whole dish is to fit into a 30-minute preparation time 🤷‍♂️. I added the rice to the vegetables and reduced the sauce by frying for another 5–6 minutes. I let the vegetables cool, then mixed them thoroughly with the mackerel. Into a container and into the fridge overnight, to let the flavours get acquainted. And there we are: paprykarz, ready. Ideal as a starter, and of course as a spread for bread. Enjoy 🙂